Once you’ve accepted the offer with your new employer and set the start date, obviously the next step is to let your current employer know you’ll be leaving. Write a brief letter of resignation (the operative word there is “brief”).

If you feel a need out of loyalty or guilt to write anything more than a few short sentences, curb it. The only information your letter needs to contain are the following two (possibly three) items:

– that you are leaving your current company
– what your last date of employment will be, and
– if you feel comfortable adding a sentence or two about how you enjoyed working for your current company, and you appreciate the opportunity to have been a part of the organization, tack that on

It should NOT include:

– why you are leaving
– where you are going
– what you will be doing in your new position
– how much you will be making when you get there
– how bad you feel about leaving (or conversely, how glad you are to be going!)

Make an appointment with your boss and hand deliver the letter. Tell him verbally the same words that your letter says, because the face-to-face is courteous and professional, while the letter is a formality for record of your employment. And be prepared for one of three things to happen.

Either your boss will professionally acknowledge your resignation, say how sorry he is to have you go, and shake your hand, or he will become very silent – just before he asks you what it would take to keep you. Or quite possibly, he’ll do the former, and you’ll be asked to another meeting later so that he can find out what it will take to keep you.

If your company is truly professional, you’ll resign, shake hands, and that will be that. But it doesn’t always go down that way, which takes us into the second way to resign, which actually is in danger of not being a resignation at all. It only starts out that way.

The first thing you need to know is that a counter offer is NOT – IS NOT – a sincere and genuine statement of their desire to keep you around for as long as you might decide to stay should you change your mind and accept their counter offer.

What you’ve just done by resigning is put the company at a disadvantage. You are creating an opening within the company, and you’ve left your company at a loss. By resigning, you’ve basically said, “I’m not interested in this company any more.” You’ve caused your loyalty to be questioned. You are in control, and they are not.

If your boss invites you in for a concerned chat, you’re better off sounding like a broken record – repeating your “thank you” and “my last day is…” than you are involving yourself in what appears to be a caring conversation about your ensuing future.

It doesn’t matter what you want or what you ask for, because they’ll give it to you – in one form or another – or possibly offer you something tasty before you even speak up. After they’ve lulled and flattered you into submission, and as you walk out the door smiling, they’re calling the newspaper or a recruiter and ordering up a confidential replacement.

In 25 years of recruiting – my firm, and working with other firms – I have never, ever, ever seen an accepted counter offer work in favor of the individual.

Don’t, for a minute, think I am being overly dramatic. A counter offer is a complete and 100% appeal to your ego and an attempt to push your guilt button. It’s unprofessional of your company to attempt it, and it’s unprofessional (and ill conceived) of you to take it.

It might be a month, or six months, but eventually, your next departure from the company will be on their terms.

The Employment-at-Will Doctrine. Another Euphemism as our Language Fades into Irrelevance

States that have adopted this standard as a way of attracting businesses, have managed to do so without an outcry by the vast majority of voters, employees. After all, why should there be an objection? It sounds so fair and evenhanded on the surface. If you, the employee, no longer want to remain in your position, you simply move on after giving appropriate notice. No reason need be given, though youll no doubt be asked and will probably offer the least offensive one you can muster.

So, doesnt it follow that your employer should have that same right? If he or she decides one day they no longer want you around, shouldnt they have the option of sending you out into that big world with all its opportunity? Of course there are limits imposed by law on the reasons they can sever the relationship. These concern race, religion and various factors that are not appropriate cause for dismissal. But outside of these considerations, you are completely subject to the whims of your employer. Maybe youve decided to leave your job on a whim. Once again, seems so fair, no wonder the subject gains little attention.

Now maybe you and your boss didnt get along very well. Youve been drilled to keep those matters to yourself when you interview with prospective employers. This process reinforces to all employers that as a group theyre simply wonderful. No one ever has a complaint against any of them.

But surely, even if you werent well liked by the boss, he or she will restrict their comments to potential employers to job title, dates of employment, maybe salary history. Now this shouldnt be too damaging. Of course, if its a good job youre going after, youll be competing with others who were on much better terms with their bosses. These individuals are probably going to get accolades that make your dates of employment and the like seem like a barrage of 4 letter words.

Bosses who are more daring and determined to make your life a bit harder, can offer negative feedback on your performance. It must be true and subject to verification. If the boss has it in for you, this can be accomplished very easily, as anyone who has ever seen a scapegoat taken down in an organization can attest. And of course, theres the clincher, a negative response to the question of whether the person is eligible for rehire. If the answer is no, dont bother pressing your suit for the second interview.

You may choose to criticize the organization every chance you get among friends and strangers, but that wont stem the tide of applicants whenever they advertise a position. Your future is in their hands, not vice versa. And even with the scale tipped so decisively in favor of the employer, there are state legislatures attempting to make it easier for them to divulge more about you without any recourse on your part.

So, does the Employment-at-Will Doctrine create the balance between employer and employee that it seems to on the surface? No. It does bring businesses to your state though, ensuring as it does a docile workforce. Docile and insecure, for when you can be dismissed for any reason, your family and you have no reason to feel secure.